BURNING WOMAN ('S FEET)

Yesterday was tough for me because my feet - most especially my left foot - started having an old feeling of burning pain after doing very little, or nothing at all.  This is the kind of pain that I used to experience a lot before I began taking Tramadol - the little white miracle pain pill that is not without it's addictive and negative qualities.  (Don't take it unless you really need to.)  


The experience was reminiscent of the many times I've dedicated myself to medical treatments - acupuncture for a year, psychoanalysis, physical exercise regimen, herbs and potions, wheelchair and leg brace, spiritual cleansings, variety of pain meds, variety of orthotics, surgery to remove neuromas in the foot - only to find that after all that - the pain in my feet would be the same.  I'd take a walk on cement and my feet would start burning, increasing with more standing or walking.  The longer I stand, the longer the pain stays with me when I sit down as well - so have to watch it and always assess whether the activity is worth the pain.


With Tramadol, the recovery time was much quicker, and my activities increased in amount and variety by 40 - 50%.  However, T is not healthy for the body and it eventually stops working for everyone eventually - a negative for all of these narcotic or narcotic - like pain meds.  If I end up not recovering as much as I'd like, I'll probably go back on it - but will cut the amount from 200 to 50 or 100 mg/day.


I'm happy to not have it in my system now - and like experiencing my body au natural.  I don't have a revved up feeling inside, and I know my tissues are not drying out as caused by T, which is counter productive to health (especially as we age).


BUT - that old burning feeling paid me a visit yesterday.  I was upset enough to call Dr. Pendse on Saturday when the clinic is closed to let him know, hoping he would have a strategy to deal with it at my Saturday evening session.


Upon arrival Anjali spoke to me - Dr. Pendse had called her already and there was a new plan.  The steaming portion of the treatments have been curtailed.  The steam has served its purpose to soften the muscles and due to the fever I had, it could be that they've been giving me too much heat.  Instead, following the heavenly oil massage,  they had me sit on the little white step stool and placed my feet in a plastic tray about 4 inches deep.  Then Anjali poured this very warm, rich, thick, dark auburn colored oil over my feet, from a spouted beaker.  They slowly poured it twice on my left foot and ankles and once on my right.   My feet stay in the oil and it was very soothing.  
"What herbs are in this oil?"  "Many herbs."  I don't pursue the question of herbs because they are not going to have English names, anyway.


The rice fomentations continued, but no more pressing them into the bottom of my feet.  I'm glad for that as I think the heat from that the night before - was too intense.  
Anjali was out night before last and did not come to the clinic.  It was a day to honor and celebrate one's teachers and gurus as Cloud related previously, and she went to a celebration of her guru.  Another young graduate of the Ayurvedic college took her place.  Aruna Pendse,  the doctor's wife, shares the same guru and they both were there.  She said it was a wonderful celebration - lots of singing and flowers given to the guru.


The substitute practitioner did not have the same smooth touch as Anjali, even though she was very good.  Sneha has an excellent touch.  The substitute put the compress on too hot on my left foot and may have helped bring on the burning feeling.  


I told Anjali how depressed I felt about the burning pain in my feet having returned because it brought up bad memories of it happening many times before after putting my hopes into a remedy.  She completely understood and has seen this happen to many others before.  People think that it means that all will go back as it was and get very upset.  She told me to not let my mind go off into the past or into the future, but to experience the present.  It's very common, especially in neurological problems for pain to get worse and then better - up and down.  She portrayed confidence that it would be better in a day or two.


Another treatment change:  The herbs in the busti (enema) are changing.  Now the purpose of the enema will not be just to clean out the toxins from the intestinal system and the toxins that travel there from the limbs due to the massages, but also to cause healing to other parts of the body, like the limbs.  I don't really understand that, but I gather that I have made busti progress.  It is getting easier to handle the rickshaw ride home - and it's a good thing, too - as we were in a wicked traffic jam last night and it took an hour to get back to hotel, sweet hotel.


Anjali says I am feeling lighter now in my abdomen, hips, lower back and thighs - less congestion in those areas.  I feel that too. Sneha said there is less swelling in the lower back/sacrum area and in a swollen area of the left foot - progress again.


Today - now it's 3:00 pm, a couple of hours before the next treatment, and the burning feeling has subsided, come back, subsided again and now it's back.  Dr. Pendse called into the clinic last night and prescribed an herb to be taken every two hours to help with the burning pain.  It's one of the herbal powders that you have to mix with honey in order to get it down.  The burning is still with me, though to a lesser degree.  I wonder if I'll get that stuff again.  Fortunately, though, I do not have any feeling of depression today and generally feel much better; perhaps the extra herbs given me last night have helped, not to mention the talk with Anjali.

That's Aunt Judy in the center of the family last Christmas.  

We're feeling blue today because our dear, sweet sister, sister-in-law, auntie, and friend - passed away peacefully at home yesterday afternoon(US time).  Judy was a woman filled with loving kindness for everyone and will always be a beloved member of our family.  She has been with my brother Dan for 39 years - a constant, loving companion.  Judy has been a light for all of us and such an engaged and sweet aunt for our girls and supportive mom to our nieces.  She made our family a whole and it will be hard to struggle on without her giggles, sweetness, good sense of humor, generosity of spirit, and love of family.  We're sending all our love to Port Angeles, WA now - for Dan and the girls, and my mom, Ruth.  Those who know her will join us in doing so, and in sending Judy on her way to eternal peace and joy with love and light - 'tho we hate to see her go. . .